Natalie ([info]cheekyweebisom) wrote,
2003-10-12 20:13:00
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Jesus on a pretzel with toast! (The Moron, Part 3)

Less than a day. Less than a day, and she's back. Incredible.

Idiot: 1 mo thing
Me: You're back AGAIN?
Idiot: u no it maeks u hapy
Me: Only because you introduce me to a whole world of alternate spellings. Wait, that's just you being stupid.
Idiot: shut up
Idiot: dont say 1 fuckin thinge
Idiot: just lisen 2 me k?
Idiot: k?
Idiot: ill tayk that as a yes
Idiot: i found ur jounral
Idiot: dont u dar post our conversetins there nemore
Idiot: if u do ul rergret it
Idiot: i didnt post ne coments ther becuz im mature
Idiot: and i dont want 2 start darma
Idiot: well?
Idiot: y arent u sayin nething?
Me: You told me not to.
Me: "[Idiot's screenname (which, incidentally, is misspelled) removed]: dont say 1 fuckin thinge"
Idiot: stop tryin 2 b all clever ur not clever
Me: Stop threatening me in a vague, bullshit way.
Me: Do you think I'm even remotely afraid of you? I suppose I am, but not in any personal way. I'm afraid of you in that you will someday be one of many, many dumb people able to vote.
Idiot: stop insluting me
Me: Hahahaha.
Idiot: stop thinkin ur beter then me
Me: Stop providing me with concrete evidence that I am.
Idiot: that u r what?
Me: Better than you.
Idiot: shut teh fuck up
Idiot: stop iming me then if ur so much beter then me
Me: Every single time we've had a conversation, you initiated it. I have not contacted you once. Sure, I continue the conversations once you start them. Why? Because they're fucking funny. You're a joke, and you don't get it. But I have not ever initiated the conversation. What's more, I never will. If we keep talking, it will be because you choose to keep IMing me. I want that to be really clear.
Idiot: y r u so rude?
Me: Pot. Kettle. Black.
Idiot: huh?
Idiot: y do u keep insluting me?
Me: That means that you are accusing me of that which you are guilty; what's more, you're far more guilty of it than me.
Me: Again, my insults have, in every case, been in response to yours.
Idiot: dont post this on ur lj
Me: Fuck you. I can do what I like.
Idiot: ill sue ur ass
Me: Watch me be scared. Seriously. You're not going to sue me. Assuming that anyone would even listen to you, which I highly doubt, lawsuits are time-consuming and costly; moreover, you have no case. I'm completely within the law.
Me: I'm not recording you without your knowledge.
Me: I'm not doing anything even vaguely wrong.
Me: So please, stop with the empty threats.
Idiot: ur realy chilldish
Me: I'm a chill dish? Is that like being a kewl dawg?
Idiot: childish watever
Me: You're calling me childish?
Idiot: ya. deal w it.
Me: In this case, it's not even the pot calling the kettle black. It's more like the pot calling the ivory black.
Idiot: y do u talk so much about pot?
Idiot: r u a stoner?
Me: You're joking, right?
Idiot: um
Idiot: no
Me: I'm not referencing marijuana, you fucking lemming! You know what a pot is, right? Those things in your $200,000 kitchen?
Idiot: watever r u a stoner?
Idiot: u didnt anser mai quetsion
Idiot: u r a stoner arent u?
Idiot: that explens a lot
Me: No, I'm not. The only drugs I've ever consumed are alcohol, caffeine, and medicine. I don't have a problem with people who do choose to smoke pot, though. It's none of my business; I choose not to, but I couldn't care less what they do.
Idiot: ur a crazy radecal arent u
Me: Yes.
Me: Behold my armpit hair!
Idiot: ur gross
Idiot: teh reson im talkin 2 u
Me: . . . is because The Real World isn't on?
Idiot: no
Idiot: shut up bitch
Idiot: odnt inslut teh real world
Me: LMFAO
Idiot: im takin 2 u 2 tel u 2 stop takin about me on ur stupid jurnal
Me: And I've told you that you can shove your misspelled words up your ass. I'll post our conversations as long as you write to me (or until I get bored).
Idiot: ur such a chlid
Me: No! Not the dreaded chlid!
Me: I've been called a fag; I've been called French, but I've never been called a chlid!
Idiot: wtf is that?
Me: It's from La Cage Aux Folles. I altered it slightly.
Idiot: watever u lesbo
Me: Wow. We talked for a while before you got there. I'm impressed.
Idiot: ur such a faggot
Me: Yeah, I see how I'm the childish one.
Idiot: y r u psoting this covnersations?
Idiot: y?
Idiot: y r u posteng my sn and stuf?
Me: I never posted your screenname. I would never do that; it would be wrong. What's more, one of my friends specifically requested your screenname so they might contact you, and I told them "no." These IMs will always come back to you; that is, neither I nor any of my friends will ever contact you first.
Idiot: u think ur all hi and mity
Me: "hi and mity"?
Idiot: high and mighty u think ur high and mighty
Me: Everything's relative.
Idiot: ur a fuckin retard faggot
Me: Your homophobic slurs are really starting to piss me off.
Idiot: oh yeah? what r u gonna do bout it?
Me: Ask you to stop. Please stop being a bigoted cunt. Thank you.
Idiot: u fuckin gay loveing fag hag lesbean cunt cocksucker
Me: Did you just call me a lesbian cocksucker?
Idiot: yeah wat r u gonna do bout it?
Me: Laugh at you for a long, long time. Did you miss the memo explaining what a lesbian is, dear?
Idiot: fuck u u fuckin lesbo moron retard fucker asswipe bitch from hell
Me: Stop now.
Idiot: make me u gay cunt

So I blocked her. Now we know she reads the journal. Message to Lame-Ass: get a fucking life.

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Anonymous

October 13 2003, 03:47:00 UTC 8 years ago

fuck u i bet im samrter than u ever wil be u lesbien

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[info]alpheratz

October 13 2003, 03:30:12 UTC 8 years ago

A message to the Idiot:

Please, start reading books and notice how words in them are spelt. It'll help you in life. Really.

Anonymous

October 13 2003, 03:47:51 UTC 8 years ago

Re: A message to the Idiot:

i do rede and im not an idiot ur an idiot 2 be freinds with this lesbo. shut the fuck up ok? thx.

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[info]skos

October 13 2003, 03:39:54 UTC 8 years ago

It's funny how most "good christians" accuse people of doing things that they themselves do to a greater degree.

Good move on the block - I think after a couple of exchanges on the initial conversation she'd have wound up on the list.

So how long was it between visits?

Anonymous

October 13 2003, 03:48:34 UTC 8 years ago

u dont even no wat a good christian is so shut up.

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October 13 2003, 03:40:26 UTC 8 years ago

If you're reading this, mademoiselle moron, please post a comment so we (meaning all of Natalie's proud-to-be-nerd friends) can express our exact opinions of anyone who uses the phrase "lesbian cocksucker". I think you (and Natalie) win a prize for writing quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever read, and cheering me up to no end.

Anonymous

October 13 2003, 03:50:48 UTC 8 years ago

u asked for it u bitch. i bet ur a lesbo 2. bring it bitch.

k bye.

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Anonymous

October 13 2003, 03:57:07 UTC 8 years ago

ok, this is emily. im the girl ur talkin shit bout 4 no reson at all. i wasnt gonna comment here but u aksed 4 it wen u blocked me u moterfuckin bitch. stop makin fun of me just cuz ur jealus. ok? all ur freinds r lesbos 2. im beter then u and u no it so i feel sory 4 u u bitch. fuck u. ur going 2 burn in hell with all the siners. dont try 2 block me ether bitch. ur a faggot.

ttyl emily
ps - every1 whose her freind needs 2 shut teh fuck up kthx

[info]cheekyweebisom

October 13 2003, 04:02:35 UTC 8 years ago

Ok. I think you're really amusing, EMILY, and I like a good flamewar, so I'm not gonna delete your comments for now. But as soon as you say anything threatening, it's going to get deleted. There. Now go forth and be stupid. Entertain me.

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[info]alpheratz

October 13 2003, 04:11:15 UTC 8 years ago

Natalie, I want to ask your permission to fandom_wank this. This stuff is priceless, you know.

[info]cheekyweebisom

October 13 2003, 04:16:29 UTC 8 years ago

Sure. I'd be honored.

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[info]jennielynn1127

October 13 2003, 04:17:11 UTC 8 years ago

Holy shit! When will people get a life and realize that they are making things worse for themselves?

Some people get their shits and giggles from thinking they are making everyone else miserable. What a riot!

And Emily, I really don't care if you read this, because maybe one of these times you'll realize that you really are showing your ignorance and immaturity with each and everything thing you say.

For a "good" Christian, you sure do an awful lot of swearing... and if you say that I don't know what a "good" Christian is, then you're sadly mistaken. Apparently, you still have some things to learn about being a "good" Christian...

Anonymous

October 13 2003, 04:46:02 UTC 8 years ago

im not makin nething worse 4 myself im standing up 4 myslef wats wrong with that? wat the fuck is a shit and gigle u idiot? im not ingorant or imature so shut teh fuck up k? and im a good christian so stop actin all like u no me u dont no me at all.

-emily

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[info]shadow1869

October 13 2003, 04:53:55 UTC 8 years ago

Strange. Very, very strange.

This is almost unbelievable. This is definately the most hilarious/sad thing i've seen in a long time. Poor Emily. Please stop hating me.

[info]jennielynn1127

October 13 2003, 04:58:44 UTC 8 years ago

Re: Strange. Very, very strange.

Awww poor shadow! I don't hate you... I don't know you, but I don't hate you... *wink*

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October 13 2003, 05:25:11 UTC 8 years ago

"Idiot: i didnt post ne coments ther becuz im mature"

"Idiot: u fuckin gay loveing fag hag lesbean cunt cocksucker
Me: Did you just call me a lesbian cocksucker?"

I am so very amused right now.

Anonymous

October 13 2003, 05:27:07 UTC 8 years ago

r u makin fun of me? fuck u fuckin lesbo

-emily

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October 13 2003, 05:41:17 UTC 8 years ago

I don't know what to do with this kind of person. It's like, I like being nice to people, but sometimes it's hard.

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October 13 2003, 05:44:38 UTC 8 years ago

fuck u lesbo i dont need ur pity ur a real lesbo ur all butch

-emily

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[info]mmepompadour

October 13 2003, 06:28:29 UTC 8 years ago

*yawn*

Well, it's been fun, but it's 2:30, so I think I'll be going to bed now. Unlike someone, I have some LEARNIN' to do tomorrow morning.

EDUKAYSHUN IS GUD!

[info]sonicsustain

October 13 2003, 21:58:44 UTC 8 years ago

U nead 2 spel riet.
It iz "eju"kayshun.......

Apparently, our learned friend Emily hasn't had a chance to correct you on that one.
Perhaps she's too busy going to church to be the "bestest goodest Christian everest." hahahaha.....
Oh, wait, how is it she has the time to do such things when she posts ALL THIS SHIT?!?

Anonymous

October 13 2003, 06:37:49 UTC 8 years ago

just 1 questen: r u all jewish?

-emily

[info]mmepompadour

October 13 2003, 06:38:29 UTC 8 years ago

Nope. Goodnight.

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[info]queen_oblivia

October 13 2003, 06:52:22 UTC 8 years ago

i am fascinated. permission to friend?

[info]cheekyweebisom

October 13 2003, 06:54:16 UTC 8 years ago

Sure! I'll go look at your journal at some point . . . once this flamewar is done, probably.

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[info]aristurtle

October 13 2003, 07:00:57 UTC 8 years ago

Wow. I stumbled across this admittedly fascinating post from [info]tws_support. I can't look away.

[info]cacahuate

October 13 2003, 07:09:02 UTC 8 years ago

Holy SHIT!

196 comments. You, Natalie, are officially the queen of everything.

[info]cheekyweebisom

October 13 2003, 07:47:45 UTC 8 years ago

Re: Holy SHIT!

I'm amazed.

[info]oulangi

October 13 2003, 07:15:10 UTC 8 years ago

OMG - found this via via.
She's precious.
lesbian cocksucker teh funneh. Marry me, Emily?

Anonymous

October 13 2003, 21:23:22 UTC 8 years ago

ew ur gorss shut up u fuckin lesbo fag abonimeshin

-emily

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[info]polaris_starz

October 13 2003, 07:29:11 UTC 8 years ago

Dear Emily, if you're not a troll:


The amount of frankly idiotic garbage you've been spewing has certainly been amusing to read, but I hope eventually you'll realize, if you haven't grown tired of this by tomorrow, that you are affecting and offending no one with your hideously spelled and poorly grammar-ed "arguments."

I'm not Christian, but you know what? The people who have replied here who are Christian, who are lesbians, gays, and bisexuals-- you know what? They're better than you. Because they don't stoop to your level. Because they don't judge people based on how they live their life. Because they're open minded-- they even tried to argue with you sensibly at first.

If you're sixteen, which I'm not sure I believe, I find it amusing that at a year younger than you I'm more conscientious about my grammar, spelling, and thoughts than you appear to be. I'm glad you don't intend to get a job (though I don't hold out much hope for your "ideal" life style going as you intend), because I can't think of any place besides McDonald's and its ilk who would take you, the way you act. And even then I think they'd have to know better than to put you at the counter.

I really have nothing else to say, except that I hope you realize you've made an utter fool of yourself. Stop taking yourself so seriously. It might do you good.

Thank you and goodnight.

-- Polaris

[info]cheekyweebisom

October 13 2003, 07:48:22 UTC 8 years ago

I don't think it's possible to put it better than you did; at least, I wouldn't have been able to.

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8 years ago

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8 years ago

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[info]_kaleidoscopic_

8 years ago

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Anonymous

8 years ago

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[info]polaris_starz

8 years ago

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[info]jennielynn1127

8 years ago

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[info]sabonasi

8 years ago

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[info]polaris_starz

8 years ago

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[info]sabonasi

8 years ago

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[info]muulafuraga

8 years ago

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[info]sabonasi

8 years ago

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[info]muulafuraga

8 years ago

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[info]sabonasi

8 years ago

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[info]cariadwyn

8 years ago

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...and 2 more comments... from [info]the_rum_is_gone, Anonymous Expand

[info]azarias

October 13 2003, 09:10:24 UTC 8 years ago

Came on in from TWS

Terrifyingly enough, this sounds EXACTLY like a moron I had to deal with a couple of weeks back, except that one was male. There's more than one of these online ... AIE! No matter how often I Clorox my monitor, they just. won't. stop. breeding.

In any event, you handle this one marvelously. *applause*

[info]cheekyweebisom

October 13 2003, 21:27:30 UTC 8 years ago

Re: Came on in from TWS

Hahahaha! Thanks.

[info]azarias

8 years ago

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[info]polaris_starz

October 13 2003, 09:24:26 UTC 8 years ago

Out of curiosity, has anyone posted this at [info]mock_the_stupid?

[info]cheekyweebisom

October 13 2003, 21:28:43 UTC 8 years ago

I don't think so, but as I said on my latest entry (made, I think, after you said this), you're free to post anything anywhere you want.

[info]perlentaucher

October 13 2003, 09:43:38 UTC 8 years ago

Uhm .. just curios .. .is that now just a set up or is it real?

[info]jane_clique

October 13 2003, 22:32:52 UTC 8 years ago

If it IS fake, Natalie has nothing to do with it, and I don't think that Emily's smart enough to be a troll.

[info]perlentaucher

8 years ago

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[info]yeu

October 13 2003, 10:43:52 UTC 8 years ago

This girl is so… brainless that I just have to add my two cents.

Emily,

I don’t care what age you are, but your maturity level is right about somewhere between the 7 month to 1-year-old range. You can either start using correct English and prove to us that we are wrong about you, or you can just try to justify yourself while providing more entertainment for us.

This is the net, dear, where freedom of speech thrives. If you have the guts to say something, expect them to turn up somewhere else. Besides, I think you need to come up something new with your name-calling. Bitch, faggot, and fuck are getting old; please think of something else that we can laugh at you about.

I don’t know anything about you and it is against my morals to assume something about those who I don’t. But you pretty much gave me all the evidence I needed to say that your are immature, shallow-minded, intolerant, a kindergartner can spell better than you, and that attitude of your ain’t going to get you anywhere except the trash can in reality.

Just so you can have something to call me names by, I’ll give you a little information. I’m bisexual, so go ahead and call me faggot. I’m an atheist, I am not white, and I have multiple mental problems along with many physical ones. Hope you can have a field day with these information and be creative enough to entertain us some more.

Yeu

[info]freakachu420

October 14 2003, 17:56:42 UTC 8 years ago

You can't compare her to an infant. Babies love everybody.

[info]asleepnotdead

8 years ago

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[info]skycornerless

October 13 2003, 11:56:37 UTC 8 years ago

Hee!

O, what utter GEMS my friendsfriends page puts out! I haven't been this entertained by LJ drama since the idiot who flamed Serie.

So, from one Emily to another - thanks ever so for making my day.

And from this Emily to everyone else that made this so very enjoyable, the same. ;D

Deleted comment

[info]skycornerless

8 years ago

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[info]kisekinotenshi

8 years ago

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[info]alryssa

8 years ago

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[info]skycornerless

8 years ago

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[info]kendlina

October 13 2003, 13:00:22 UTC 8 years ago

OMG!!! That was by far THE most funny thing I have ever read. You... you are the best. I've always managed to be hideously sarcastic, but you combine it with your "hi and mity" speak and make it... holy :)

[info]gj_fate

October 13 2003, 13:15:51 UTC 8 years ago

Ah, this was worth the trip over from [info]deleterius.

Funny stuff, I applaud you my lesbian friend :D

[info]miccie

October 13 2003, 13:17:05 UTC 8 years ago

An Emily did this? No!

As another Emilie (same pronunciation, by the way), I must say that this both appalls and amuses me, in about equal amounts.The appalling part: emily who doesn't capitalize your own name, I must ask, "Why?" Emily is a pretty name. It's the name of one of America's most famous poets as well as the title of a Laura Nyro song. You shouldn't defile it in this way. The amusing part: everything else. Thanks for such a wonderfully entertaining flame war, Natalie!

[info]skycornerless

October 13 2003, 16:23:34 UTC 8 years ago

Re: An Emily did this? No!

Oh, oh, I agree! When she revealed her name, I nearly cried.

But I was too busy laughing, see.

(She is not a real Emily, after all!)

[info]cheekyweebisom

8 years ago

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